dreams

i woke up groggily, my head spinning like hell and my eyes blurred by dazzling white lights. it was early in the morning, but the sun was already in its glorious state, shining very brightly, making it impossible to fall back to sleep.

yawning, i got up from bed and check my phone. right, today is Sunday! :) however, the smile faded quickly from my face when a troubling thought crossed my mind. homeworks! lots and lots of homeworks piling up, waiting to be finished. ugh, i groaned and burried my face in the pillow. great way to ruin my perfect sunday teachers. all i want was just to spend the day away, reading my favourite novel, that simple. why is life so unfair?

suddenly, an excruciating pain stabbed through my head. the world started to spin. i helplessly clutch my head, with hopes that the pain would fade away, but it didn't. after what seemed like an eternity, it stopped.

everything went dark. pitch black.

"where am i?" a timid little voice spoke in my mind.
i looked around, my eyes wandering, hoping to find at least one familiar thing. everything seemed weird and fuzzy. it was too bright. everything seemed so vivid, but hazy at the same time. my brain tried to put all these pieces together. where am i? what am i seeing? what just happened?

then it appeared. just like that. a small pink chair and coffee table, with a sweet pink bouquet in the middle. burning with curiosity, i approached the furniture, my hand reaching out, touching the edge of the chair. 

well, it's definitely a chair. nothing happened, i didn't get suck in or anything. hesitantly, i touched the table, feeling its hard, cool surface. everything seemed normal. but what is this? what is this place? whaa... WHOAAAAAAA!

i was pulled by some kind of gravitational force, and the next thing i know is i'm sitting on that chair, my sloppy pyjamas was replaced by a floral dress.

then, my favorite book appeared in my lap. its page opening by itself, inviting me to read it.

this was like a dream come true.

turning the pages, i started to read, read and read. i pinched myself, am i dreaming? no, all these seemed so real. 

then a cup of tea appeared before me. well i was thirsty. this must be a magic place. everything i wanted, i get. 

i greedily drank the tea. well, it might be poisonous but i drank it anyway. thank God, i'm still alive, and the tea tasted like the elixir of pure goodness.

aahh this was too good to be true. wait. is this true?

can i still go home? and how, exactly? i must be dreaming. oh no, what if i was cast under some kind of dreadful spell and i'll be stuck in here forever. nooo, even though my life is not perfect, i wanna go home. i'll miss mom and dad and...


that pain. is killing me. i started to let out breathless whimperings. i want this pain to stop. please. stop.

the pain stopped.

i was back in my room again.

i instinctively looked out of the window. outside was our backyard. yes! i was definitely home. except. the sky was dark.

i glanced at my clock. oh no, it's already 11 p.m. 

"glen, it's very late, why are you still up? are you doing your homework?" my door opened with a creak and there mom stood, glaring at me.

i gulped. right, homework. 


oooh gosh. i am in so. much. trouble.

p.s. i used tripod to take the pictures, so please mind the bad quality ;)

stronger

Character flaw

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

This article is about the literary concept. For ethical shortcomings in real people, see Vice.

This article does not cite any references or sources. Please help improve this article by adding citations to reliable sources. Unsourced material may be challenged and removed.(September 2008)

In the creation and criticism of fictional works, a character flaw is a limitation, imperfection, problem, phobia, or deficiency present in a character who may be otherwise very functional. The flaw can be a problem that directly affects the character's actions and abilities, such as a violent temper. Alternatively, it can be a simple foible or personality defect, which affects the character's motives and social interactions, but little else.

Flaws can add depth and humanity to the characters in a narrative. For example, the sheriff with a gambling addiction, the action herowho is afraid of heights, or a lead in a romantic comedy who must overcome his insecurity regarding male pattern baldness are all characters whose flaws help provide dimension. Perhaps the most widely cited and classic of character flaws is Achilles' famous heel.

In general, flaws can be categorized as minor, major, or tragic.

what does it feels like? being reminded over and over again that you're wrong, that you have too many flaws, that you are worthless and pathetic. 


it hurts. no matter how strong your heart is, a part of you must die a little. no matter how you tell yourself over and over again that you are special, that it means nothing, the words must occur again and again in your head. chanting those terrible words you don't want to hear. you tried to block them out, you tried to think of other things, you tried not to hold grunge, but no, it can't go. it hit your weakness, right in the spot.


when you finally forget, they come again, and again. they strike you many times. they keep hurting you. they keep telling you that you are nothing. that everything you do will not change your flaws. and that you are a loser.


you object, all those things they're saying can't be right. you chose not to believe them, you use all your willpower to ignore them, but there's a really tiny voice inside your head, saying 'maybe they're right. maybe i'm a loser'


you finally succumb. you surrender. you take all the nasty words they're saying. you started to believe those words. you started to take them all. you started to accept your weakness, and maybe, they are right. you are weak. your mind is just too easy to play with. it hurts you more and more, leaving deep wounds in your heart, everyday. they bleed, they made you feel excruciating pain. 


your heart becomes number and number. until one day, their words didn't bother you anymore. you already knew what they will say. you already expect them. and you embrace it, you didn't care anymore. you felt that hurt too long, that it doesn't matter anymore. you tried to change. now you realize you're not perfect. and you're okay with it.


that was when you realized, you've become stronger.you embrace your flaws. you accept them. it's who you are. maybe you can't see. maybe you have fuzzy hair. maybe you cry too easily. maybe you're a bulimic. maybe you're stupid. maybe you're not as good as everyone else. maybe you love your own kind. maybe you are limb.maybe you don't know who you really are. or maybe, you're too flawed, too far from perfect. 


but you were born that way and your flaws are your charm, your diamond. you just need to polish it over and over again, until it becomes the shiniest, most beautiful and valuable jewel, and also, the strongest substance on earth.

Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without. - Confucius







Better to be a strong man with a weak point, than to be a weak man without a strong point. A diamond with a flaw is more valuable that a brick without a flaw. - William J.H. Boetcker

the past the future and now

i was born with a spiky, lush black hair.


i was a plump infant and looked like a baby boy.


i was a nightmare as a toddler. i slept in the morning till the afternoon,never sleep during the night, and to make it worse, pulled everyone's hair when they're sound asleep. i ate each meal for two hours, and wouldn't touch anything that resembled porridge.


i was four years old, still a nightmare. i was really cunning and obnoxious. i tied my sitter's hand on the handle and locked up my house maids in their room. mom tried everything, from yelling to locking me up in the garage, but to no avail. *sigh*


i was six years old, and attended first grade. i was so proud that time. mom didn't have to send me and i didn't cried, but i made new friends.


during my childhood my parents always want me to be a pianist, and i thought that is what i wanted to be. But I was wrong.


then i entered my terrible pre-teen years. i was taller and fatter than everyone else, and i was very insecure and shy. 


when i turned eleven, i was starting to have a crush on a few boys.


i get into middle school, i was told to speak in front of the class and for the very first time, i enjoyed it. then i became more confident, and joined competitions and events at school. 3 years of middle school were very memorable. i finally realized what i wanted to be and find out who i am. i started to rise, i'm growing up, i've become a better version of myself.


now, i'm typing a blog post. tomorrow is the first day of high school. and i hope, i can shine more, i can improve, i can find and know myself better, i can find my true friends, i can work hard to make my ambition come true, and i can smile someday, look back and say, "i did it" but the most important is that i can get taller T.T yes i was taller than my friends a few years back, but now, yeah, things changed.

back in time

today i wake up and i'm fifteen.


fifteen. all these times i've been listening to taylor swift's fifteen, wondering what i'll be when i reach the age and if the lyrics are true. now, i've reach the age, i'm fifteen.


then who have i become? 


i would answer, me.


me, more confident, have done more awesome things and more grown up. 




i hope, next year and so on, i can still say the 'have become more' thing. positive ones, of course.

you only live once

i went to our class' farewell feast today. it was bittersweet. i was happy i was able to experience the beautiful atmosphere of so much love, but i was also sad to leave, sad to realize that i only have this moment once. two hours, too short. 


and my teachers won't stop inspiring me. i was urged to deliver a farewell speech today, and i was so blank i didn't know what to say. i didn't push myself hard enough, all i can think is i don't know what to say, i'm sad to leave. that's all. then after i delivered what i can, my principle said something that will change my life afterwards. he asked us to be ourselves, not just following other people, and that everyone is not the same, you can't find another you. you are special. then i realized, i did have a lot of things to say, i just didn't give myself a chance. i am different. i'm not the same like my other friends, and that their speech can't reflect what i really thought inside. so thank you for helping me realize that.


then what my former 8th grade teacher said. i don't have to be this sad, i still live in this town, i still can visit my beloved school all the time, everytime i want, i'll be welcomed with open arms. it's true. it's not goodbye yet. it's just up to me. if i want to make it as a goodbye, than it is, we wouldn't meet again, but if i really love my school, the teachers, and my friends, i can still see them, it's really just up to me. she also told to use our whole potential as a human being, and not just for ourselves, but we have to share it with every person in this world. it gave me positive outlook and make me come with a new motto for my life, it's my life. i only live once. i decide what's best for my life. i make or break my life, decisions are all in me. 


and i'm so glad i finally realized how great my mom is. all this time it's just me. she really helped me come up with all this new thoughts and correct my way of thinking. 


turns out, things are not what you thought they're supposed to be. thoughts make you hesitate, they make you doubt, they even can make you feel devastated, like you're not worth living anymore. but in the end, who control your thoughts? where did they all begin? the answer is: yourself. so it's not other people who is making you sad, or stressed, but it's up to you. whether you want to dwell with it or not.




today is very memorable. and i'm very, very grateful that i still have those people in my life. 

as usual, photo credits goes to little brother :* today i insisted on giving him a photoshoot but he was adamant, kept saying "noooooooo" :P

shoutout!

hey there guys. no, i'm not abandoning this blog, i just had nothing to post in here. i'm not doing anything these days because i'm busy reviewing for UN, which is just a day left and i'm nervous as hell.


i promise as soon as i finish those tests, i'll blog about more things here. meanwhile, please enjoy my other blog i just made, click click!!!  http://fairylightsandroses.blogspot.com/.

 it's just a blog for my daily life and another unimportant stuffs. like what i ate, what i wore and what's in my mind. those stuffs. i know you guys can't find those kind of things in this blog.



so please visit and follow my blog :) and here's my twitter @GlenML and instagram @Glenmaries



bye guys :* goodluck 9th graders for your UAN!

:)

i looove bright, warm, sunny days. don't you love them too? so please mind my esctatic face in some pictures :)



enjoy your weekends !!! :D